In which fandom and RL collide

[rhienelleth]

This is a great thing we have, this online anonymity that lets us be the biggest fangirly geeks ever, and SQUEE! about our favorite shows/characters in fan-geeky togetherness, and write and read tons of fic about those self-same shows/characters (that may or may not be p0rn, but usually is). 

Yep.  A great, fantastic thing.  I know some of you don't separate your fandom life from your real life.  People you know RL - friends, family - read your journal, and may even have journals of their own.  And some of you, like me, keep the two very separate, and panic at the thought of a co-worker stumbling across your journal and reading every embarrassing thing you ever wrote in it (plus that p0rn...er fic... you posted last week).  I don't know for sure that I fall into the panic category.  I used to, before last year's WW when I finally admitted to the husband that not only do I know what fanfic is, but yes, I've written some.  I may not have admitted it was explicit in places, but he'll figure that out pretty quick if he ever reads it.  (I should explain, Mark watches very little television, and the few shows he watches aren't ones I've felt compelled to write fic for, thus, there is no reason he would ever want to read my Sarkney fic, except out of loving loyalty to his wife.) 

We're going to WW again this weekend, and as it did last year, fandom and fanfic are bound to pop up in conversation from time to time.  Maybe even be featured on a panel or two.  Once again my two lives shall intersect.  Though, strangely, it seems to happen more and more IRL lately. 

WW was the start of it.  Then there was AnnaCon, where we met kistha and dthon.  We had dinner with them, and all this great conversation about roleplay, martial arts, pets, and livejournal, etc.  I may have had a drink or two.  ;)  'Twas great fun, and when we got home, of course we all friended each other.  (Not Mark - he has not ventured into the realm of online journaling, and I would be shocked if he ever decided to.  He just doesn't get it.)  I didn't think much of it, other than how glad I was that we met such fun people we'd be seeing again in June.   Then, a few days later kistha comments in my journal, letting me know she's read some of my fic and giving me some pretty cool feedback on it.  First, there was the usual pleased feeling one gets when receiving praise for one's fic.  Then came the horrified realization: "OMG, someone I know IRL has read my fic!"  Which I must admit wouldn't be nearly as mortifiying if there wasn't p0rn in said fic.

I've mostly gotten over that now, but that was a huge, huge thing for me at the time.  I think it helped that we didn't have, like, dinner plans with them the next day.  (Especially since dthon also read it!)  We're going to see them this weekend, which I'm really, really excited about. 

One incident, right?  You have to expect that eventually it would happen.  Well, that was in November.  Six months later, something similar occured.  Mark did one of his martial arts seminars a couple of weekends ago, and one of the attendees was this girl who's a freshman at the local Uni.  Traditionally, we have dinner after each day and most of the attendees go as well, and the day's seminar continues in the form of conversation.  I don't remember exactly how it happened, but one minute we were discussing favorite fantasy authors (I had noticed she was reading Tigana and commented on it), and the next she's talking about fanfic and explaining to me all about what it is.  Ever helpful, Mark comments "You're into all that stuff, right?".  Her eyes brightened as soon as she realized she had an interested audience, and immediately started giving me recs in HP slash fic.  (As most of my f-list knows, I have not ventured into slash yet.  Thank God Mark was busy talking training with someone else, because I really don't look forward to the conversation where I explain to him what slash is!) 

She proceeds to tell me she's dabbled in fic a little herself, and asks if I've written any.  I mumble something about some Alias fic, having correctly judged she was more into book-fic than tv show-fic, and she lets it go and continues on her HP obsession for several more minutes.  Oh, and LOTR. 

(Also, on a completely unrelated note, one woman who showed up for the seminar looked exactly like Lena Olin.  I should upload a pic for proof, but man, it was eery.)

And then, what really started this whole LJ entry off, yesterday one of my best RL friends e-mails me.  I didn't check my e-mail until this morning.  I got her and a couple of other people hooked on BSG when I lent them S1.  They are four episodes away from finishing S2, but since they only watch the eps together, it's kind of slow going as they have to wait for when their schedules match to watch.  So, friend #1 e-mails me and says:

...I just have to tell you, my friend Therese  found all these online stories about BSG and sent me links for them!  It's called "fanfic", where people write their own stories about the characters.  Some are really good, and a lot of them are pretty explicit.  There some good Helo ones I'll send you links for...

There's more, but that's the gist of it.  (She's a huge Helo fan, btw.) 

I am telling you, this woman is not anyone I would ever have thought would go online and look for fic!  Obviously, she has found it through the help of a third party, but still, I doubt she's going to stop reading now!  I am in a quandary on how much to tell her about my involvement in fandom.  I guess, what does it matter if my RL friends know I write fic?  So what if they go read mine once I tell them?  OMG, why does this freak me out so much??  I never, ever thought this would happen.  For the most part, my RL friends are not super-internet savvy.  They frequent the message boards of their favorite authors, and that's as far as fandom goes for them.  Until now.  And once this friend knows and starts reading, it's only a matter of time until at least two others I know do as well.  Hell, she cc'd them the e-mail! 

I guess the real question is:

Is the advent of household internet making fandom and fic more widespread than ever before?  Is it soon going to be nigh impossible to keep online anonymity as a fic author? 

Hmm.  Food for thought.

Comments

[carmen-sandiego.livejournal.com]

You and siryn99 should talk, because she had nearly an identical experience with a friend of hers who'd discovered BSG "fanfic" on a thing called "livejournal" ;)

I try to wean my friend in slowly with the whole 'fandom' concept, THEN I get on to the fic and the meetups and everything. I have never yet, though, had a RL friend actually come up to me and start telling me about fanfic, unfortunately, *sigh*

[rhienelleth.livejournal.com]

Really? Haven't perused the f-list much for a couple days. *goes to syrin99's journal to read*

Oh, wait. That just adds weight to the argument in favor of fandom becoming more widespread!

[kistha.livejournal.com]

I actually know kind of how you feel.

I wrote most of a White Wolf novel with a friend (at her urging) and I ended up writing everyone but the female lead - who my friend wrote. Being that it was White Wolf Vampire, the sex was hot and heavy and I was writing all the guys, she was just the one girl. She let her now husband read it. He was a friend of mine first, and I hadn't shared a fair amount of my life with him, and I was so not comfy with him suddenly reading this steamy sex stuff from a guy's perspective that I had written.

I hear ya - and I'm all for a pseudonym and no RL cross overs. (Not that I write, though.)

[siryn99.livejournal.com]

Okay, that is weird. So, is BSG going to be the fall of fandom anonymity because it's just so damn good?

[randomeliza.livejournal.com]

Just the thought of anyone I know IRL discovering my fanfic frightens me so much - hence the starting another LJ just to post my fic. I've already had a few people I know from university find my LJ - thankfully close friends who know how to keep their mouths shut - but I'd be truly horrified if someone from my hometown, for instance, found my LJ and started reading my fandom-related posts.

Still, I've met so many cool people through fandom - in person, even - that it's kind of weird that I'm so freaked out by the thought of the line dividing online me from RL me being blurred. Go figure!

[crankylex.livejournal.com]

Once upon a time, in a fandom far, far away...

Okay, it was circa 1999. It was still the era of "Old Skool" BtVS, before we knew that there would be a New School. Tamara and I ran The Naughty Slayer, which was a well-known fanfiction archive focusing on adult B/A(us) fic. This was when there were like two mailing lists and no livejournal/aim, etc. We used IRC, damn it. And we walked ten miles to school, in the snow, up hill, both ways.

Anyway, the fandom itself wasn't yet the behemoth it turned into, and I didn't put much effort into guarding my identity. I still don't, btw. I used my real name, my real location, etc. Anyway, after a while, I would get phone calls and letters from people begging me to update more frequently. Now, obviously, I didn't share my phone number and my address with the general public, but they tracked me down anyway.

Then, I switched jobs. The manager I worked for, during lunch one day, made some offhand comment about Buffy. I replied, and we started chatting. He mentioned that his wife was online and hung out at messageboards and whatnot. I made some general noise of agreement, and then his eyes got big and he said, "YOU'RE THAT LEX??" At the time, I was fairly well known, both for my fiction and for my attitude. I didn't bother with a fake name, and so I was busted. Then his wife called me and wanted to talk about my fic all the time. I ended up quitting.

My life is stranger than other peoples' lives.

[crankylex.livejournal.com]

Anyway, my point is, people who know me fairly well IRL know that I write. They may not understand the concept of fic, but they know I do something online.

By the same token, I don't have any reason to hide my vampire porn. I don't discuss it among non-fandom people, much the same way I don't discuss contract law on my lj. That's about the only way I compartmentalize.