Weekend plans
Mar. 23rd, 2007 02:04 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
rhienellethThis is my friend L's one weekend a year where she doesn't have her son. His father is taking him until this coming Thursday. And since he could sense her stress levels over the phone (her father has colon cancer, and she was told two days ago that "They" think it's time to call in hospice) he is also taking her dog for the week. So she has no kid, and no dog this weekend. But her Mom has insisted on driving over from Eastern Oregon, and her Mom is a whole ball of stress all on her own. L tried to tell her this wasn't a convenient weekend. Her Mom could care less, and expects L to put her up for the weekend regardless. She arrived yesterday, and L pretty much told her "Mom, please leave on Saturday. I already have plans Friday night and am not going to be home, and I really need some "me" time this weekend. I understand you wanted to see Dad - but I can't deal with you right now." So, her feelings are a little hurt, but she's leaving Saturday, as L requested. You should perhaps know that she once threatened, quite seriously, to kill L's Dad, and they split up when L was about 8. they didn't see him for, oh, fifteen years after that. Since hs' shown back up in their lives, her Mom and Dad remain polite but distant.
And yes, I do understand why her Mom would want to come see him and essentially say her good-byes. But anytime L or L2 express their grief or distress over this, their Mom says "How do you think I feel? I was married to him and had two kids with him," and makes it all about her. This is the type of crap L has to deal with.
Tonight she wants to see 300, so I'm going into this viewing just the enjoy the fantastically impossible CGI shots and the gorgeous physiques of the male actors. No historical comparisons, at least I hope. Then we are either going out for a couple fo drinks, or going back to my place for drinks. I told her I don't care which.
Tomorrow is still very much up in the air, but the hope is that Mark's going to get to play paintball as he wants to (but he's sick and it's supposed to rain, so...probably not) and we girls will do something fun and girly like get a manicure/pedicure or something. Followed by (with any luck at ALL) some gaming. (As in the girly roleplay game we do. Except without the added stress and bad roleplay of V and L2, YAY!) But again, this all depends on how L feels. This is, essentially, her weekend. But I'm under the impression that that's what she would like to do as well.
Yesterday, I bought her some relaxing bath stuff and some of the Bare Minerals make-up she'd been wanting, as a pick-me-up. The stress got to be too much for her, and she cried at lunch. There is much, much more to this whole situation, but it boils down to the fact that - excepting her - her entire family is very selfish and "me" oriented, and God forbid she have a weak moment when they're in pain. It makes me very angry on her behalf, so my goal this weekend is to do whatever-the-hell she wants, even if that's nothing at all. She seems to be doing much better today, but I'm sure this is going to remain stressful and emotional until her Dad actually passes. In some ways, it's worse watching someone slowly die than it is to have something sudden and unexpected happen to them.
And yes, I do understand why her Mom would want to come see him and essentially say her good-byes. But anytime L or L2 express their grief or distress over this, their Mom says "How do you think I feel? I was married to him and had two kids with him," and makes it all about her. This is the type of crap L has to deal with.
Tonight she wants to see 300, so I'm going into this viewing just the enjoy the fantastically impossible CGI shots and the gorgeous physiques of the male actors. No historical comparisons, at least I hope. Then we are either going out for a couple fo drinks, or going back to my place for drinks. I told her I don't care which.
Tomorrow is still very much up in the air, but the hope is that Mark's going to get to play paintball as he wants to (but he's sick and it's supposed to rain, so...probably not) and we girls will do something fun and girly like get a manicure/pedicure or something. Followed by (with any luck at ALL) some gaming. (As in the girly roleplay game we do. Except without the added stress and bad roleplay of V and L2, YAY!) But again, this all depends on how L feels. This is, essentially, her weekend. But I'm under the impression that that's what she would like to do as well.
Yesterday, I bought her some relaxing bath stuff and some of the Bare Minerals make-up she'd been wanting, as a pick-me-up. The stress got to be too much for her, and she cried at lunch. There is much, much more to this whole situation, but it boils down to the fact that - excepting her - her entire family is very selfish and "me" oriented, and God forbid she have a weak moment when they're in pain. It makes me very angry on her behalf, so my goal this weekend is to do whatever-the-hell she wants, even if that's nothing at all. She seems to be doing much better today, but I'm sure this is going to remain stressful and emotional until her Dad actually passes. In some ways, it's worse watching someone slowly die than it is to have something sudden and unexpected happen to them.
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no subject
Date: 2007-03-23 09:15 pm (UTC)It is so miserable to do the slow dying thing - especially with the "me-me-me-me" shit going on.
I mean when people die, people get crazy - but seriously. My family is almost funny to watch since we're all caregivers, one of us will start to cry, which will set off someone else, and the person one stops to hold person two...and down the line we go. I pretty much do all my crying alone. Usually in the car, while driving which isn't smart but how it's worked out.
*smooches to you and L*
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Date: 2007-03-24 01:23 am (UTC)Rrrrrrowwww, wet Daniel Craig. Rrrrow!